1. What time is it: 18:19 GMT

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: James Spencer Pyper (Bond)

3. Nicknames: Jamie - Jim - Pipes - The Pyper - Mr. Fixit - 'King of Kings, God of Gods, His Imperial Majesty, Conquering Lion of Judah Jamie Selassie-I' and of course bits of me known as Little Spencer

4. Parents names: James (Lyn actually from Lynford his middle name) and Jean

5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake?: 35

6. Date that you regularly blow them out?: 28th Oct

7. Pets: Mice and Spiders, though involuntary.

8. Height: 19 feet 7 inches (more often 6')

9. Eye color: Brown

10. Hair Color: Damn nearly black with white bits and skin color (involuntary)

11. Piercing: 1 in the ear. Defunct

12. Tattoos? 1 a scorcher

13. How much do you love your job: It's more of a love hate relationship.

14. Hometown: Bournemouth in Dorset. Where the old people live and thugs and scum go on holiday.

15. Current Residence: London

16. Have you been in love? Yes, daily.

17. Currently involved? With what?

18. Favorite thing about e-mail: Causing fear and pain.

19. Been toilet papered? Not that I'm aware of.

20. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? yes, daily.

21. Been in a car crash? minor bumps, which is surprising considering I drive like a twat.

22. Croutons or Bacon Bits? Are things you find in your underpants?

23. 2 doors or 4 (on a car)? 17 but these are more doors of perception.

24. Coffee or Ice Cream? Coffee is great as long as it's not the filth served in America. Ice cream is good with other things, mainly chocolate based substances.

25. Blanket or Stuffed Animal: Does this refer to most desired means of suffocation? I'd go for Orange gag or the old reliable pillow.

26. Best Color: Black or Blood red.

27. Salad Dressing: Salads can't dress. OK Balsamic vinegar.

28. Socks color: Black

29. Book you're reading or hope to read: Mad Frank - The life of a top East end Crim, Frankie Frazer (who knew the Krays and Jack the hat McVitie)

30. Favorite Movie: Anal passions 3 (Deeper), oh all right, Apocalypse Now, along with Brazil.

31. Foods: The richer the better. Everything except raw fish.

32. Song Playing at the moment: Learning to Fly - Mothers Pride

33. Toothpaste: Sensodyne

34. Restaurant: The Commanders Palace (New Orleans)

35. Flower: A gilded Lily

36. Least Favorite Food: See raw fish

37. Sport to Watch: Anything involving engines (mainly rallying), snooker, Mens downhill skiing, gymnastics. Nothing in fields involving balls of any sort.

38. Fast Food Restaurant: Should be fire bombed and replaced by non-chain ventures run by local business people.

39. When was your last hospital visit? Not recent enough... 17 to have my wisdom teeth out, or visiting Barbara at work.

40. Favorite drink? There's not enough room. But Port, Gin and Tonic, Rum and Coke and any non-pissy microbrewed beer or sweet wines. Yum Yum. Baileys is good but only in pints.

41. What color is your bedroom's carpet? Pine with knots in.

42. How many times did you fail your Permit and/or Drivers test? 0

43. Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs? Where I left myself, but mainly in the mirror. OK retired or doing something I give a fuck about.

44. Who is the last person that you got mail from before this one? Ali

45. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? no, they never caught me.

46. Which single store would you choose to max your credit card? Any Aston Martin Dealership, orrr.... Amoeba Records

47. What do you do most often when you are bored? Laugh. I'm only ever bored when I'm in meetings and your not allowed to laugh. Ali will testify to this.

48. What words or phrases do you over use? Circumlocution, urrrm, fuck off, arse, I can fix that, I want to shag your bird and now I'm back in England: C*nt.

49. Friend who lives farthest away: Julian Fudge who is in a remote Island in Indonesia, talking to fish and shitting on the beach.

50. Most annoying thing: Global corporations, injustice, Drum and Bass.

51. Best thing in the world: Chocolate, Freinds, sex, stimulants, French cooking, sunshine, nature, time to talk and knowing that you don't have to be anywhere. All together at once.

52. Bedtime: Midnight

53. Who will respond to this fastest? A pedant

54. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond. I don't know who I sent it to, but the Mark theories already in the toilet.

55. What time is it now? 17:10 GMT